“They fuck you up, your mum and dad…”

This Be The Verse

BY PHILIP LARKIN

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.”
Hence, the Michelle Robbins theme of childhood abuse.
The gift that keeps giving…

Still thrilled

In all my pain, the story of Derrick Morgan’s struggle, in Criminal Minds, speaks deeply to me.

I did this.  I pulled myself out of the hellhole That Person manufactured for my childhood.  She is the reason why I am all that I am.  I’m a survivor.  More, I’m  the bright spotlight that reveals the unthinkable.  I’m not ashamed of that.  I am all that I’ve seen and experienced and done, the good and the bad.

YAY!!!!

That 85k manuscript I’ve been working on for Seton Hill’s MFA program?  It was just ACCEPTED by my publisher.  Now I’m writing for THREE LINES!!!  Better, it arrives on MY BIRTHDAY!!!!  (Nov 30).  AND IN PAPERBACK IN DECEMBER.

What a GREAT DAY!!

meh

I confess, I browse porn.  Why?  Because I write m/m erotic romance for Amber Quill’s Amber Allure line and I, frankly, need help understanding how men are intimate with each other.  I’m a girl.  I don’t have the equipment or the necessary XY gene.  Men…think differently.  They relate to each other differently.  I write with “authenticity,” hence my many cheesy text messages to my guy buddies that start with, “Hey, do guys…?”  The LAST thing I want to write is m/m fiction from a girl’s point of view.

“That’s not a guy.  That’s a chick named John!”  I would hate that.  That would send my OCD brain into crisis mode.

I actively avoid that.

Anyway, I found a great few websites.  Hunky, naked dudes galore, and where I’ve gotten some scene ideas in the past year–Yeah, I’m not gonna lie–then yesterday…BANG!!  Virus.  It blitzed my notebook and threw it’s configuration back into factory original.  GAAAAAHHHH!  Fortunately, though, I know DOS and could locate my files via Run–> cmd

Still…

Arrival – FINISHED!!

So, today I finished the final chapter of my upcoming title “Arrival.”  First draft is done.  My longest to date.  Over 40k words and my publisher is “okay” for this to be a paperback.  (WoooT!)  Now, a break from it, to let it gel in my head, then a polish for the second draft.  After that, off to the publisher.

Did I mention this would be my first paperback???

Here’s the picture I’ve contracted for my cover art.  (By https://www.facebook.com/ajlphoto.)